Fin De Siecle

by Star Factory

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1.
The mirror likes to boast, like the future will never come, Like our fates aren't intertwined, Why are young men so dumb? I made sure that I was there, to watch your decline, To bear witness, it seemed important, I was in my prime at the time. Though you were right there, fading, fading, gone, What was there to miss? I felt so alone. So how am I to know, what it means to give up? Does my small talk comfort you? Will these memories count for much? Was it you that made me stubborn? That opened up this place? This place that I fear, and revere, Did you make me this way?
2.
I'll write a book of lost fucking causes, And the chapters will bleed into one, 'Cos I'll drop it in a downpour, As I'm running to catch you, to apologise for what you've done. My elegant words all for nothing, Pooling over a locked drain, Ego bruised, stuck in human squalor, And we're squabbling over my name - over my dead name. This metaphor is one way of facing, Anywhere other than you, And admitting what's gone, what's changed, what's remained, What I'm not strong enough to face up to. All the slights I've carefully catalogued, All the habits you'll never change, The quill snapped in anger, before I'd even realised, And I couldn't look down at the page - I couldn't look down. I read the longest book and it left me, With a complex too complex to explain, But suffice to say, it cost me time, And what I lost won't be regained - I won't get it back. And then I think of beauty, the reality dies, the idea remains, So will I live until the last one forgets my name? Or will I pass it on, a last resort, to keep me awake. Or do the noble thing, and let time fix this strange mistake?
3.
Midnight brought the cursed ones into the light, They come in pairs, these grey ghouls descend the stairs, Time had wrapped these masks around their face, Worn and creased, they hid their youth beneath. Laughing and dancing through the night, A madness that glinted in their eyes, The music was stretched all out of shape, I drifted through the strange parade. Drifting through the strange parade, I got lost in the strange parade. I lowered my head I didn't want to know, The mocking mirrors glaring from all sides, So I looked the truth right there in the eyes, I was trapped in the very same disguise.
4.
It took a week, and a continent, To run down the days, that we had left, I was paralysed, by the thought, Of losing you. Walking through an ancient town, Trying to remember, The temperature of your embrace, Before it fades away. But there's nothing sadder than a wave that never breaks, A light that won't burn, for fear that it'll fade, And there's nothing brave about living in a fucking cage. Then you were gone, on a mistral breeze, To the new world, brand new things, And I rolled back, into, The dimple in our bed. It started in a raw, dry heat, Where sky meets the limestone, It ended in a misty rain, My courage drained away.
5.
Stolen Gold 03:03
No shadows, no consequence, Bleached days passing overhead, Rivers of stone, olive groves, And we're breaking bread. The stolen gold left a stately pile, In the centre of that arid place, Forgotten dreams, something beautiful, Gone to waste. More than the something that I'd known, Nothing feels like nothing 'til you feel it, And then you know, I guess you know, And you go numb, you're not there at all. Reckless beauty in a sleepy town, Joie de vivre, so why do you feel down? Was it the war? Can you overdose on golden light? No rage, but nothing feels quite right, And we never fight.
6.
Fever Lad 03:19
Left all by myself, a fever of my own, The frozen dark outside, the suburban dry zone, The vine grows everywhere, sentient or dead, Just to feel something there, doubles back and chokes itself. I know these twisted thoughts, the place where they diverge, From what might be, to what we never were, Never completely here, never saw it in your eyes, Never asked for the Novocaine, so when will the throb, subside? More present than is absolutely necessary... You call out hard, hope the rushing air will dislodge, All the fever that you find, playing on your mind, will you ever be alright, Alright...
7.
The clouds were so close that day, That the shadows never came, But the limpid light hung low, On a hell of a life, lying in state. Full stop, on the middle of the page, Though we had so much, so much left to say. The light in your eyes as it started to fade, The deepest blue as it turned to grey Your body sunk into the bed, They told me you heard the words they said. A godless boy, dreaming eternal, A life worth more than the rest, And you hope that the end won't last, If we wait 'til dawn, 'Til the shadows flee away. So long, I sang your favourite words for you, I just hope, that they reach you. The thud of the pine as it hit the clay, A soaking field under Arctic rain, Lament of the lost at the loss they face, The tears of the faces that turn away.
8.
The Fear 04:53
I walked out of there alone, Me and the fading summer light, New houses, old designs, (weatherboard, brick veneer), And the future doesn't rhyme. And fear doesn't scan, Buried under plans, From here to what you know, Rehearsed in bay windows. I'm the fear, this is what I do, You love and you live well, What else can you do? You try to understand, But there's nothing to know, Only this. A mix of grief and flaccid rage, An open book, no ink on the page, Just the marks you left, the salt of your pain, The dread that's etched into your face, The moment passes, Everything's changed.
9.
Albertine 03:24
You've worn so many faces since that time, Underfoot are all the skins you've left behind. It seems so easy to accost, To remember what was lost, But the memory's just a ghost with some foreign name, Oh Albertine. Everything you've said since then has been a lie, I've grown tired, I no longer try to catch your eye. Say you love, but you deceive, And you cannot seem to see, That the boy who gave himself has long gone away, I stand in his place.
10.
The sun rose proud and high, like any other day, as if it knew, Over a bleached white fossil museum town, Tracing our footsteps on the ground. We stood on the spot where it happened, empire rise and fall, It means nothing now, If it meant anything before. Love, you're not alone, With the dust, and the ash and bone. And love, we're strangers here, It can be cured, have no fear. The sun sets low and weak, Pale lemon ink, in a tired sky, And night is a heavy blink. Of eyelids trying to close, an era never known, A present that's no gift, A burden that won't shift.

credits

released November 6, 2016

All songs by Edward Sharp-Paul
All sounds by Edward Sharp-Paul

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